Normally, there is a special dynamic operating in male-female relationships. While females tend to adopt a passive, receptive demeanor, males are more active and initiative. A typical example at a club is: Girls expect to be approached, while guys are expected to approach girls. A girl can do two things to improve her success: She can look her best, dress in high heels, push-up bras, etc., and she can also give inviting signs for a guy to approach her. A guy will be more likely to approach a girl who looks good in his eyes, but he will also go for a less hot one if she shows signs of interest and he sees the green light.

Thus, in a typical male-female interaction, the female will signal with her body language and behavior that she is ready to proceed, while the male will respond to her signs, calibrate and advance accordingly. He will have to go through the steps and initiate, as she expects him to. Once again, this is about leading. No matter how good a conversationalist you are and no matter how attracted to you she is, you will always have to be the one initiating. Some aggressive and horny women will do it for you, but that’s the exception and not the rule.

There are two kinds of female signals: conscious and subconscious ones. A girl will give conscious signals when she wants you to make your move. Subconscious signals are subtler and will be an automatic response to her feeling good in your company. It is very important to learn these signs. I’m sure you’ve laughed just as many times as I have at the typical scene in Hollywood movies: The girl is attracted to a guy; the guy is attracted to the girl, but the guy doesn’t recognize the signs of interest she’s sending him, which leads to a great deal of farce. Just by learning to recognize the signs women are sending, you will improve your success exponentially. In a club or in typical everyday situations, there will always be a few girls around you showing signs of interest and inviting you to approach them using body language. If you recognize these girls and make your move, you will be likely to succeed.

You will see that sometimes certain signs can be misleading, and it’s necessary to develop your intuition for such situations. For example, a waitress has to smile at everyone to get tips, and by accident, she could mislead you into thinking that she’s attracted to you. To avoid this, you will need to fine-tune your intuition with experience and learn to “feel” whether she is really attracted to you or not. A professional table tennis player doesn’t see the ball. He feels it. His hands move automatically while he is in a trance. A lot of practice will make you better at “feeling” the signs that women are giving, just as the table tennis player does with the ball.

So let’s look at the most general conscious and subconscious signs that show she is attracted to you:

1. She’s relaxed while sitting or standing and talking with you. Her arms are open and not closed; her legs are either wide apart or crossed with her feet pointing toward you.

2. She’s comfortable in your company. When you lean closer to her, she stays in the same position and doesn’t pull away.

3. She leans closer while talking with you or sits closer when you’re sitting next to each other.

4. She smiles a lot, even laughing at your lamest jokes, or she compliments you on something unremarkable.

5. She touches you sometimes on your arms or shoulder when talking with you.

6. She fixes her clothes, applies more makeup in the restroom or exposes parts of her body, revealing skin and showing erotic body parts.

7. She rubs her wrists up and down, and she rubs, touches or strokes her cheek.

8. She plays with her hair, pushing her fingers through it or twirling a few curls in a slow, sensual motion.

9. She looks deep into your eyes while smiling, her pupils dilated. She blinks faster than usual or keeps looking into your eyes in a longing way, like your dog when you’re about to feed him.

10. When you touch her or put your arms around her, she’s comfortable with it; she might even snuggle closer to you.

11. When you extend your hand to her, she takes it and keeps holding it as if you are already a couple.

12. She bites her lips and licks them, showing her tongue, or she moistens her lips with lipstick. She puts a finger or nail into her mouth or over it in a sexual way – these are signs of sexual thoughts, and they are usually signs of arousal.

13. She rubs her legs together and presses them to the legs of the table or to your legs under the table – another sign of sexual arousal.

14. She plays with her wine glass, her jewelry or another object with a rubbing, stroking, sensual motion.

15. The way she sits or stands reflects your body language; she is mirroring you.

Of course, she can’t be doing everything at the same time. But, if you encounter more than two or three of them (especially the more serious ones), she is likely to be heavily attracted to you and wanting you. A word of warning: Just as there are shy guys, there are also shy girls. They might have a harder time showing signs of interest and flirting with you. They might also try to hide these signs. You will recognize them from their girlish confusion.

And now let’s see some negative body language, showing disinterest and less attraction to you:

1. She breaks eye contact and looks away when you try to look into her eyes.

2. She grimaces, showing that she is simply bored. She never smiles.

3. When you ask a question, she responds after a pause: “What did you say?” and it’s obvious that she is thinking about something else or is somewhere else mentally.

4. There are long, awkward silences in your conversation, and she doesn’t show any interest in breaking the silence or bringing up any new topics.

5. Her legs and arms are crossed; she is sitting at a distance, or she turns away from you. She leans back, and when you lean closer, she moves away or just acts as if she’s uncomfortable.

6. She doesn’t react to your jokes and doesn’t laugh with you; she may express polite surprise.

And the list goes on. Although persistence is a good trait to have and sometimes by being persistent, you can recover from the most hopeless situations, the negative signs described above show that you’ve done something wrong, and it might be time to move on and search for another girl. Never be disappointed; success will come with determination and time.

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